HOW TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP LAST AND LAST...PART 2

 Ok...... lets wrap the gist on 'HOW TO MAKE LOVE LAST...'

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex, Third Edition
 

..........Continued

15. Be the man. Not literally, but if your guy always initiates dates, romance, whatever, take the lead for once.

16. Disappear together. Hike somewhere MTN can't find you (and thus your mother, your boss and his needy friends can't find you either). Obviously no woods in Nigeria!!  Any time spent totally alone together — a long drive, even — will do the trick.

 Little Deeper Sex Furniture / Sex Toy / Sex Wedge / Sex Pillow
 

17. Disappear alone. We're not advocating game-playing, exactly. But in this world of 24/7 availability, it can be good for your relationship to each have some solo time. Afterward, you'll feel recharged, like the free-spirited single girl he fell for once upon a time.

18. Go to a party! And mingle separately. It screams confidence and makes the after-party rehash even sweeter. But you have to know his feelings, most Nigerian men are not open to such.

19. Have sex some way you've never had it before. A worthy challenge, whether you've been together 10 days or 10 years. Try a new position or play out a fantasy. Doesn't matter whether it's really new to you, as long as it's new to you as a couple.

... Once a Year

20. Now get the dog. Or at least a plant. Anything that'll grow with your love.

21. Say the tough thing. The dark family secret. The crazy career dream. If you can't confess to your significant other, then who? (Hey, you think Jonathan never said to Patience way back when, "This may sound crazy, but I think I want to be president someday"?)

How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

22. Cancel Valentine's Day and invent your own lovey-dovey holiday.

23. Fall apart. You can't schedule this. But it's important that you each know, via experience, that you can  completely, utterly lose your grip — weep over a bad haircut, threaten to leave your job after a crazy day, have a wrenching fight with your mom — and not lose each other.

24. Don't Get Up. At least once a year, break open some champagne or fancy chocolate, disable the Wi-Fi, and don't get out of bed for the weekend.

25. Talk marriage, birth control. Not so sexy, but potentially life-changing. Would a different method work better? Is it his turn (or yours) to take primary responsibility? And where are you on the whole kid issue, anyway?

Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships: Healing the Wound of the Heart

26. Re-kiss your first kiss. All timid and hopeful ... and wonderful.

27. Write each other. "One letter may not seem like much, but after 30 years it's a wonderful record of your lives."

28. Think back on all the reasons you fell for him, whether you've dated for a year or a decade. Some will be big (his extra-dry sense of humor); some will be small (his love of plantain). Make sure you tell him, and remind yourself. Hello, butterflies! There you are again.

... And Once In a Lifetime

29. Get lost together in a different town, state even country.

30. Damn the cost and go do the dream…..argghh paris here you come!!!.

 The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex, Third Edition
 

31. Get intimate someplace you might be discovered.

32. Suffer through food poisoning together.

33. Go to each other's old boys/girls reunions.

34. Pay off the Landlord early

35. Come back from the brink of a breakup even stronger.

36. Together, convince a skeptic friend to believe in love.

37. Have a poor phase. Maybe a rich phase, too.

38. Count the stars. Know your love is one in a billion.

Well i guess we have come to the end on this part oh how to make love last and last and last....to get the best of these you have to apply everything to at least 75%.

We would be talking more about sexual satisfaction and its role in the relationship!!! 

30 WAYS TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP LAST AND LAST AND LAST........

Ok we are down to our 30 things to make a relationship last......materials used were gotten from glamour magazine.......
.......Now that you've fallen in love with someone wonderful, are you wondering how to keep that love alive? Here's what you should be doing as a couple:

...Once a week

1. Fight (a little). Getting your ‘grrs’ out keeps small annoyances from snowballing.  If you leave issues to fester they would definitely build into big fights. Britain's longest-married couple proves it: Together 81 years, Frank and Anita Milford say their secret is "a little argument every day."

2. Walk hand in hand. Even just to your car after anyone of you visits or just a stroll, preferably in the evenings for you shy ones, considering the ‘naija’ mentality towards publicly expressed love.

3. Compliment each other. This one's a daily to-do, if you can. There's no nice thing that's too small to mention: his excellent taste in music, the way he always opens the door for you, her meal or snack prepared etc — it's all worth a verbal love tap. And he will swoon.

4. Make love (obviously). But also ...

5. Have generous sex. You need at least one sexual connection a week that's all about pleasing the other person. (Dear busy people: Feel free to multitask and make this the sex from before.  And for the live-in couples same goes for this next two ...)

6. Sleep together before work. Put down the straightening iron and heat things up this way: "Weekday morning sex is the secret sauce in a relationship.

7. Get into bed and ... sleep. "Sometimes the best thing a couple can do to ignite their passion for each other is sleep," says Hillsborough, New Jersey, sleep expert Carol Ash. If you two aren't in the sleepover stage yet, co-napping has been known to work wonders too.

8. Let something go. Argue over the stuff that matters, but once a week let her (and yourself) off the hook for things that don't: Yes, he chews his popcorn loud. No, it won't kill you.

9. Laugh really hard. Laughter is a relationship's Krazy Glue: It bonds you. Uninspired? Fast-forward to the chest-waxing scene in The 40-Year-Old Virgin, or send him something snort worthy from funnyordie.com.

... Once a Month

10. Be do-gooders. Volunteering together (visiting an orphanage or even just helping a friend move) bonds you because you're ID-ing "common values.

11. Do something scary. Been together a while? A pounding heart mimics the rush of brand-new love, says Patti Wood, an expert on nonverbal communication in Atlanta.

12. Talk about money. Whether it's, "Hey, let's split the bill tonight" or just,  "Should we open a joint account?"

13. Brag publicly about him: his fearless pursuit of the ‘rat’ in your kitchen, the snack he surprised you with at work, the raise he landed even in this economy. Surely once a month you can think of something that'll make him blush in front of your friends. He'll probably get you back too.

14. Declare something "this stays in Vegas." A silly nickname, or a crazy bedroom mishap. Share something intimate, then pull the couple bubble around you tightly.

.....lets continue this on the next post 

HOW TO MAKE LOVE PART 2

 I would have to deviate a bit from the topic of sex and lay a foundation about having a healthy relationship and foundation for a relationship. Obviously sex is an integral part, but it is normally misused so we would touch other aspects before we delve into sex.

Contrary to popular belief and breakup/ divorce statistics, love can last for a long time! A recent psychological research study revealed that there is such as thing as “happily ever after.” Heres a brief summary of those research findings, plus four ways to make love last for the long-term.

Science Shows That Romance Can Last in Long-Term Relationships/ Marriages

"Many people believe that romantic love is the same as passionate love," said psychology researcher Bianca P. Acevedo, PhD. "It isn't. Romantic love has the intensity, engagement and sexual chemistry that passionate love has, minus the obsessive component. Passionate or obsessive love includes feelings of uncertainty and anxiety. This kind of love helps drive the shorter relationships but not the longer ones."

Acevedo and her peers looked at 17 short-term relationship studies, which included 18- to 23-year-old college students who were single, dating or married, with the average relationship lasting less than four years. They also looked at 10 long-term relationship studies comprising middle-aged couples who were typically married 10 years or more.

They found that long-term love can progress into a healthy, companionship/friendship type of love, which will last for the long term. This type of romantic love in relationshipcan extend for a lifetime of "happily ever after"!

How do couples make love last? Here are four tips for the long haul.

1.       1.       Be “There” for Your Partner

This research shows that couples who feel supported in their relationship are happier. On the other hand, "feelings of insecurity are generally associated with lower satisfaction, and in some cases may spark conflict in the relationship,” says Acevedo. “This can manifest into obsessive love." To build a successful relationship, both spouses need to be there for each other.

2.      2.            Remember the Stages of Love

Long-term romantic relationships go through distinct stages of love – and the passionate love at the beginning can’t be sustained throughout the whole relationship leading to marriage!

If partners are aware of the “highs and lows” in love, the happier they’ll be for the long-term (because they won’t have unrealistic expectations for romance or passion).

3.        3.     Let Go of the Little Things in a Relationship

The trivialities of daily life can undermine a loving relationship. Instead of getting caught up in details that are likely petty and unimportant, focus on the big picture.

For instance, be grateful that the when you come visit one another the home is clean (instead of fretting that it wasn’t cleaned in a particular).

4.       4.       Maintain a Strong Friendship

To build romantic love, take time and energy to be friends with each other. Learn new things together, such as how to mix drinks, bake, and prepare a particular meal or how to play a new game. Take an adventure vacation together. Read books together, about companion love and building a happy relationship. Make it a habit to please and give your partner what he or she needs as much as possible.

Source of the Research Findings:

Review of General Psychology, published by the American Psychological Association

I would be writing on 39 ways to make a your love last on the next posting...so keep subscribe to the RSS feed to get regular updates. 

HOW TO MAKE LOVE....

The topic sounds corny....right? Well i was switched to counselor mode over this weekend, a friend had an issue which i tried talking her through....smallie thanks for your permission to use this!!!.  Well back to the topic, she complained about having never had an orgasm through any form of sexual intercourse except while masturbating, and her present boyfriend is the  first guy she is having any form of sexual intercourse with...never knew we still had 25yr old virgins... , they have been dating for 2 years and she loves him, but scared that the lovemaking might be an issue.

So this is where my lecture begins. i cant say I'm versed in the art of love making or know the clicks to it, but i believe with a little bit of experience garnered over my 'sexual lifetime' and from materials.  I can and was able to clear some things for her which is basically that sex is about 2 'mature' individuals who have to give and receive and, be able to express themselves if they believe they are not receiving as much as they expect. Or in some cases not being able to bring up suggestions or introduce something different in bed. I would be discussing this issue in parts over the week.

The art of sex ...I'm assuming its between 2 consenting individuals of opposite sex, any other illustration would be stated...... or rather lets call it lovemaking, is the most magnificent celestial experience. While making love, we forget about our past and feel absolutely no worries of our future; everything freezes to time and we live in the very moment. But unfortunately for some people; love making do not last longer and they are not able to enjoy every bit of it.

Normally people can stretch love making to an hour long activity, but making love for whole night is always possible.  All you need is some simple techniques which are to be followed by both the partners. If you follow step by step procedure and understand what is needed to be done at particular time, you can make your nights enjoyable and memorable too. Making love is not just about genital penetration, it is very important to understand that 100% participation and complete devotion of the partners, better mutual understanding, desire for passionate love making and readiness to take initiative in the game of love are the prerequisites. There are situations when one partner has to lead and let the other partner keep his/her desires burning, failing to understand this will cost in early ending of your passion packed activity. Also please take care not to eat more at dinner, because it affects your active participation in love making.

 A BRIEF VIDEO ON SEVERAL WAYS OF MAKING LOVE WITHOUT PENETRATION!!

In subsequent blogs I would be discussing :
-  Relationship and sex
-  Foreplay
- Talking dirty/ naughty  (healthy)
- The sexual anatomy of both sexes
- 20 different sexual positions

Also "39 ways to make your love last and last"a material culled from Kimberly & Pamela's blog.

Please readers discretion is advised as some certain terms might be used in the course of this topic.

Well catch you on the rebound and watch out for gist about my 'madam', love her so much and also appreciate her support when i told her i was going to write about this........BABE I LOVE YOU......but you already know abi!!!

WITH THE RAINS COME THE PAINS!!!

Woke up to the patter of the rain outside, the cold made me want to snooze back again and suddenly the remembrance of the roads would be like if i dont get out of the house early made me jump up.....while the body was booting and me saying my sleep dazed morning prayers...i remembered the road leading our of street and i just wanted to jump back into bed.

 

 Let me give you a gist on how the road became a nightmare.... about 2 months it was just some little patches on the road and the over zealous Local government chairman sent his boys to excavate the surface for repairs.....wow we all sang his praises.... after the tractors had left the site, we waited with our breaths held......well that was 2months ago, and right now the road has 2 nasty craters and is a nightmare, every hour a car gets stuck, even saw a jeep stuck there this morning...well we had to convert the walkway/culvert to a road , but the shop owners put up road blocks to stop passage. Most times to avoid the major crater i have to circumvent using a road which is twice the journey or i park my car 2 'closes' away from home, along the main road and walk home.......

......and now i ask what was the idea of the project to torment us or at the inception of the idea , there was a political score being looked for......
The only good thing about the road, is that it prepares you for other nightmares along the way, dont think i passed any as worse as mine, even oshodi express isnt that bad.

Driving to work through the rain induced traffic was hectic, felt smart and passed through 'ijesha' only to get into a worse bottleneck...you know traffics on 'expressways' make more sense than traffic jams on 'streets'.... Well the only joy of the rains meant i would not be seeing any 'VIO ' ..check last blog for my issues with them...

Giving credit to the BRF administration which has tried in its on little way on rehabilitation of roads and freeing up traffic on major roads, but they have a long way to go.
If we the populace can play our own part by paying our TAX..snickers..and also stop indiscriminate dumping of refuse into gutters. YES we all are guilty in our own little way, that lacasera bottle and gala nylon you threw out of the car yesterday is going to get blown into one of them gutters and cause a blockage, which would definitely lead to overflows onto the roads and create potholes.



WE ALL HAVE OUR PART TO PLAY IN TAKING CARE OF OUR ROADS AND ENVIRONMENT, ITS NOT ONLY ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT!!!

THE NEW FEAR IN LAGOS....

Ok its not another 'private part' disappearance or 'gbomo gbomo (kidnapping of the 80's) scary tale. Its the fear being a tax defaulter in lagos. Most times i envy 'office' workers who dont get to be on the road during work hours as 'we' have to. My topic refers to the new way of getting tax defaulters by the Lagos state government.



I've heard stories about regular stops by Lagos state officials who after asking for your relevant papers now ask for your tax receipt, took it all with a pinch of salt till last week. Was driving to the surulere office, sighted some VIO officials ahead of me ....feeling smug with myself.... i drove on, expecting to breeze past or worst case if im stopped, scream at them that... cant they see its a 2007 model so exempted from 'road worthiness' checks. well i did get stopped start my rant and the guy let me vent out and tells me he has the right to check all my papers...that was new one...and 3 of his other huge looking colleagues had surrounded my car.... well i ate my humble pie and gave him my papers of which he says they were good, but he would like to see the original of my drivers license...this would be gist for another day... well i didnt have it,which he says the copy i had looked fake and they needed the original to verify...had a flashback to a friend who got stopped for a fake drivers license story, and spent a day their office parted with N5,000 as a fine  and had to pay a tax fine of N11,000.... well he said i needed to go bring my originals while they impound my car and cos he likes me he would advise me to come with my tax receipt...and i ask why..he points to another dude whom he says is waiting to ask for that and if i didnt have it thats another offence.... seems the dude didnt know he was talking to an ibo dude....

B.R.F.   EKO ONI BAJE!!!

well i lambasted them for stopping me, made a call to a friend at the governors office who told me he couldnt do anything that the government even stops officials like him...ok i broke a sweat or two... well i switched to the line that my dad is a major general, and i would leave this car with them and get them locked up if i have to come back for it, well they looked more pissed, luckily saw a soldier walking along the way and hailed the dude over....with authority..lol..liver full.... the guy walks up and i ask him if he knows my dad....luckily it was a dumb soldier.. he stammers yes and i told him to warn these nitwits, well as he walks over to them and i feign going to get my other phone in the car...the guy blocking me had walked around to confront the soldier.....boy did i jump in and burn rubber... surprised i didnt wear of the tyres.
Well after that day i started asking around and heard stories about people being stopped to demand their tax papers most times some Lagos officials in company of policemen go around shops to demand same even from artisans.
Well my coy has got a Tax clearance, getting mine now becomes an issue, went to the local govt and all the nitwits i asked didnt know what i was talking about , finally got referred to ikeja, but how do i get there without getting stopped , cos now i rarely drive during the day. i need to get my tax paid...AND SO DO YOU. But the govt can make it easier by proper adverts on locations and modes of payments.
ALSO CONFIRM IF YOU DRIVERS LICENSE IS ACTUALLY ORIGINAL.

well im sending someone over to alausa, a friend says he can help there!!!
WANT TO BUY OR SELL IN NIGERIA?

CORRUPTION AN THE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

Guess most of us haven't experienced this, cos you just walk through the arrival with just a hiss cos of the heat you walked into. Well for 'we' who have to carry other transactions here its a hell!!!. Most imports come in through the airport via 'cargo' or passenger 'luggage' . my vex is always with the passenger 'luggage' section where the custom hold sway.
Was there on saturday to pick a consignment of antennas and radios brought in from dubai using a friend as his extra luggage. well getting in  through terminal E was an experience, with security men who were trying to get money out of believing i was ignorant of the process...obviously they lost out.... got in and met the custom officers who tried to jump over themselves to take my paper, believing i was a mugu. well the custom guy looks at my paper and say i would have to pay a 20% duty on the worth of the goods and 5% tax, 10% processing, bank commission and some other jargons..and i tell the guy that this are just computer accessories and not television antennas or radar antennas...cos he brought out a log book to show me the charges for antennas..... notwithstanding my explanation he seemed hell bent on collecting the charges, well i got pissed and told them not to worry that i would send "some else' to pick it ...i emphasized someone to make it look like a superior officer....
well i turned round to walk out and the dude now says " why am i walking out that i should come lets talk".. and he say how much do i have on me, i said im budgeting 19k, and the nitwit now those some calculations and says i should pay a 5% duty instead...which i already knew was the rate... well it amounted to 17k and he puts the extra 2k into his pocket and became quite efficient in helping me get out my goods...  and ignored the fact that i had no letter of authority from the person whose name is on the luggage tag, and neither did i have any form of identification..i mean anyone could have walked into claim my goods
then the lady who was to confirm my bank payments was playing the time wasting game, realizing she was yoruba i switched to the yoruba lingua and she smiles and says"why didnt i talk since" well she gets it stamped and i tell her "e mela" and she says "what?"... i tell her im ibo...lol...you should have seen the change in her countenance...
Then to the guy who was to bring out the goods from the store, bad enough that i had to drag him out from watching a match and i didnt know the description of the luggage ...which is actually his duty to look at the slip i have and search for the luggage.... well we find the luggage and he now gives me a brown toothed smile and asked if anything for him. well i settled him.
while rolling my luggage out the custom ladies at the counter also give me a shout out asking "if im through and if anything for them" ..i definitely snubbed them.
 At the exit of the terminal 2 nitwits accost me and say i have to pay 1k for FAAN duty, and i ask what is the duty for again? well no one gives me an explanation but hold on to my trolley and say i cant go out, well i created a scene and they called a security man,who i threatened by asking if he was the superior officer here..well that putt him off being arrogant to me...bottom line i did pay .
while waiting for the driver to bring the car around, 2 police officer walk up to me and say "oga nah your luggage " i said yes and they now ask me if i have anything for them. well i bluntly told them 'NO'. the 2 husslers beside who were waiting to load my luggage into the car simply slunk away...you could almost see flames coming out of my eyes....lol
when i did get to the office to drop off the package, i just felt like lying down to weep for a nation. i mean how can one do business with all the stress we have to go through.
maybe i would give you the low down on the cargo section or worst of them all going to the NAHCO yard to pick up consignments...its hell!!!
i just had to lament...

2 years Ban of Nigerian Football by President Goodluck Jonathan!!!

OK, the world cup is still on and the 'super chickens' have been sent packing. but the ghost from our abysmal performance still haunts us. So how are we handling this disappointment?

Of course. How do you improve an underachieving team? Ban it from competing for two whole years. Spur them on to playing better by not allowing them to play at all. Maybe other big flops like England, Italy etc should try that.

Now, FIFA probably won't like this, given its distaste for government meddling in the national team, but it might work. I mean, how would 'blatter' say no to our guy, named Goodluck Jonathan?

The only positive vibes from all these, is the instruction by the president for an audit into how funds allocated to the team was spent...and 'we' also expect an audit into the disbursement of the $8million released by FIFA as participation grant .....heard some nitwits protested to FIFA for the money to be withheld initially over crisis in the NFF..... but funny enough me believes the president is just chasing his shadow its hard to imagine a thief chasing a thief!!!!

back to the ban...me believes this is just a case of throwing the baby with the bath water. A simple over haul would do, i mean what do you expect when you've got politicians managing the affairs, politicians are just thinking of amassing wealth/money to sponsor their aspirations. and they have no knowledge of the running's of sports ..this is sports in general, especially athletics...

Well the players and the coach are to blame also in all this. There was no determination or drive in them, i believe this is cos they have been overrated and 'too' old....Yakubu couldn't run, Kanu well has always been slow, heard its cos his waist is 'locked' due to old age he still insists he is 35...loll. And coach 'lager beer's'  team selection and positioning was just awful!!!

well we'll keep our fingers crossed on this....

its 1.35 am and Im still picking at the crumbs of the cake i had for dinner with pure water...and Im meant to be dieting.....!!!!