GENTLEMEN AND DATING PART 4

We would be concluding the series on 'gentlemen and dating' with this write up on needs of both sexes

Gentlemen and Dating Part 4....
All of us have physical needs. A child also needs to be touched. But to think that a relationship must involve sex is wrong. There are many other ways of expressing ourselves physically other than sex. This applies to both men and women. It is not that men are more sexually demanding. Both the genders need to be pampered in many different ways.


Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes?: Bodies, Behavior, and Brains--The Science Behind Sex, Love, and Attraction

For example, if a woman needs to be held while crying or need to have a back rub, the man would appreciate her reciprocating in a way that will satisfy his ‘manly’, emotional or psychological needs. We all know that there are MANY different ways to satisfy those needs besides intercourse. There is a good saying that ‘every man wants a lady in public but a PRO in the bedroom.’ It’s not very hard to figure out what that all means to each of us, and it certainly might be different for each of us.

Many young people struggle with their moral upbringing when dating. They hear their friends brag about conquests and wonder how much of it is true. We are doing a serious disservice to the young people today by not being honest about sex. Seeing R-rated movies and sex magazines gives young men ideas that about sexual behavior and prowess that is sure to cause many problems with their mate or spouse. The days of yesteryear where the man initiated sex, the positions, and the frequencies is pretty much placed in the dinosaur section of the library. The newest scientific finding that dark chocolate is good for you may play a bigger part in the man’s role to attract a female. At any rate, it will give them something to talk about while they get to know each other before any sex takes place.
WELLLL !!!!THATS ALL FOLKS, WE WOULD  BE SWITCHING TO SOMETHING MUCH MORE 'RAUNCHIER' IN SUBSEQUENT TOPICS...SO KEEP YOUR EYES GLUED ON THIS SPACE......

Gentlemen preferred: A book of etiquette for boys

GENTLEMEN AND DATING PART 3

hi there, we are continuing on our dating tips.....

Gentlemen and Dating Part 3......

In gentlemen and dating ? Part 1 and 2, we explored the differences in women’s take on sex from their point of view compared to a man’s take. In Part 3 and 4 we will continue to explore the differences and learn more about desires of men and women. The view of the now famous book, Women Are from Venus and Men Are from Mars, is yet another piece of evidence that shows how men and women feel about the same topics.

When talking to women (i seem to have more female friends than male friends) , and a few men, I have discovered that most of the similarities of both sexes revolve around which person is being asked. Although the general desire of most men is equal, the general desire of women is also equal.

I might not be married but I feel that a good marriage can remain the same after many years. It may not be the same as it was in the beginning but between the husband and wife, there is understanding, caring, sharing, gentleness and love. There are also alternatives that keep the marriage alive, happy and fully satisfying. I think that open, honest communication of what a person likes and dislikes, and what will be acceptable or not, is the best way for any couple to remain dedicated to and in love with each other for many years.

When talking about individuals (or single people), I think it is hard to find companionship and intimacy without sex coming in to play at some time. Saving sex for marriage is one of the things that I have noticed changing lately. That is just another facet of getting to know somebody. Of course, safe sex always needs to be practiced and all the warnings given about being used and feeling used if the relationship is one sided. The good thing is that if we openly communicate what we each want, we have a better chance of getting it.

......this article was culled from a write on romance guide, i was short of words to type 

GENTLEMEN AND DATING (PART 2)

HEY.....im back in your face. We would be continuing with  our dating series...if you missed last part you can get it on
for more on my list of blogs follow BLOG LIST

Gentlemen and Dating (Part 2)...........
........ Some, not most, men prefer to have a lady on their arm in public and a ‘pro’ in their bed. As far as casual sex goes, women still make those decisions. It is unfortunate that some women play games and act like teases, but only the inexperienced man will fall for that kind of game playing. Same is true for a woman going out to dinner and not knowing what to do afterwards if the man expects pay back. A simple goodnight kiss and saying that it was fun should be enough.



My belief is that intimacy is just as important as sex. In the long run, it really has nothing to do with being over-sexed or under-sexed, just that men and women have different needs. Questions about mechanical versus natural intercourse can be answered by saying that release is just that, a release. A man wants the release (and doesn’t much care how he gets it) whereas a woman wants to feel ‘loved’, cuddled, embraced, felt needed and desirous.
Other blog LINKS
Most women that will talk about their relationship will admit that their interpretation of sex centers on a man’s ability to be intimate and loving in bed. They readily admit to having sex many of the times that a man initiates it, but they enjoy it to the fullest when the man has paid attention to her needs of cuddling and talking before hand.

In Gentlemen and Dating Part 3, we explore some of the things that make men and women different when it comes to their sex drive.

GENTLEMEN AND DATING (Part 1)

Hey i'm back from a long self imposed break from blogging, had to take time out to sort my own relationship...lol. I believe at this point i can tell you that i just got ENGAGED..!!! yes..she agreed for me and plans are in top gear for the marriage but the most important thing now is completion of our 'marriage counseling courses' (which i have issues with...gist for another topic)...maybe after my wedding i would use my dating process as a testimony to application of some of the advices here.
well we would be readdressing the issue of dating and taking it from a guys perspective to dating. This discussion would be in 4 parts....so enjoy!!
Man Magnet: How to Be the Best Woman You Can Be in Order to Get the Best Man-A Guide To Dating (Revised Edition)

Gentlemen and Dating.....
.....What is the right combination of factors that would make a man act more like an ‘animal’ rather than a gentleman on dates? If a woman, straight out lets a guy know there are certain ‘rules’ for dating her, then many potential dates would never happen. I have a female friend. When a guy would ask her out on a date , she would tell him that sounded good, but she needed to know that she wouldn’t have sex because of a date. If he were interested in her for more than sex, then he would continue to pursue her. If he wanted more, than she would not hear from him again.

Most people have their shares of men who wanted something for something. Even at work, my friend who stays alone and works in one of the new generation banks, she became friendly with a boss who soon was telling her that she could go very far with the job, and then he showed up at her apartment door. She talked to him, at the door, but did not let him come in. He became very mean  towards her at work  but he still did not get to first base. She did eventually transfer out of that position so She didn’t have to be subjected to him and his ‘come-ons

Of course men want to have sex whenever and wherever they can, but that does not mean that the woman has to agree. Different sizes or shapes of women don’t make a man more or less ready, willing and eager to have sex. Whether you are shapely or not, your body type and personality attracts certain kinds of guys. If you have already set the game rules, then you shouldn’t need to worry about the man trying to get his share of your desserts after dinner and a movie.

I'd continue this on the next part...keep your eyes peeled!!!

DATING TIPS

FOR MORE ON MY BLOGS FOLLOW THIS LINK  OTHER BLOGS

I would want to share some dating tips i've used and some i culled online. And it has to be noted that the tips vary on application depending on the individual involved.

Simple Tip For Girls from a Guy.....obviously me!!!
We may not like to show it but we like to know that we are wanted and needed as well. 
We like little surprises just as much as you infact we are not a lot different we like to be touched and told how much u care. Always be honest with each us and communication is the key to any good relationship make sure u talk about what makes u happy and any problems or fears.
 We like to meet your friends whether  male or female , although we dont like to hear how great or sweet your other male friend is.

How To Avoid Making a Guy Get Confused (or Vise versa)
If your interested in going out with a guy keep in mind that us guys can get rather confused rather easily. It makes no difference whether a guy is a genius or a D'banj, he can still get very confused very easily. As such you may want to consider making things simple for us.
First of all, if your interested in us, let us know! We're far less likely to act if we think your not interested in us. If you are, let us know, use glances, head movements, fidgets, if we're interested, we'll often be watching for this stuff. (though we are pretty dumb, we might not always pick up on it.)
If a guy asks you on a date, you've got a pretty clear choice, yes or no. We'll get to yes in a minute, but if your going to say no theres a few reasons right? First off, your not interested. If thats the case, make it clear. After all, if you don't like a guy, do you really want him to keep asking you out? Cause theres a good chance he will unless he knows you don't like him. (we're dumb, it usually takes us a while to figure this stuff out) If you DO like him, but you can't go for some reason, let him know, give your reason, and ask if you can maybe do it another time? Or, swear that your not trying to get out of another relationship, you just really have to do (insert important activity here) and continue talking to him, if you turn him down for a date, and continue to have a long conversation, he can be pretty certain that your interested, just unable to make that date.
If you don't like something we're doing (something we say, something we do, intimate behaviors) just tell us straight out, OR raise the eyebrows at us and frown, we can usually understand that one.
Just remember, us guys are incredibly STUPID at times, we often haven't a clue what were doing, and sending us subtle clues often just adds to our confusion.

Mixed Signals, Playing Hard to Get is a Total Turn Off
As is often mentioned much of dating or attempts at dating turns into one side or the other attempting to figure out their intentions.Guys who know what they want are not desperate, not going settle for much less than sought out for, especially if they've been successful with certain girls in the past; therefore if you play hard to get like has been done to me all to often usually we will just move on.
I am not referring to the girl "holding out" or "initial shakara", just dating in general. Also you like a guy a lot, but want to make him chase you a bit. He might be willing to briefly; however after a while he will become suspicious of things such as...
1)Are you actually single
2)Are you interested
3)Is he just a 2nd or 3rd choice so you only act interested when you feel insecure about #1 working out.
4)What are your overall intentions

Remember guys have feelings too. The macho act some of these so-called badboys is just that "an act". Those guys often turn out to be the most insecure. Its a main reason most relationships do not last.
Many guys who do have that intial line and are smooth in 'toasting' which draws females end up to be nothing like they sold themselves as...meanwhile the guys that come off too nice, 'egbe like', creepy, etc...often turnout to be the best lovers, and most secure in the longterm.
Classic Dating Tips [VHS]

Girls And How They Work
Ok guys ive been talking more about our needs, we also have to try to figure the girls out!!!
Most girls like it when u talk to them, a text or call from time to time but dont over do it.
A lot of girls like a challenge just like us guys. If  you fall for a girl and tell her exactly how you feel from the get-go she will lose some interest unless she really likes you already. But if she doesnt have very strong feelings she will kinda move on but not all the way. If you tell her from the beginning she will already know she has you and she wont have to work for it. Therefor she loses interest in you but not all the way. She will start to look at other guys but she wont completely forget you. If she cant get the guy she really wants she knows she has you to fall back on.
So my advice to you is to play it cool and talk to her just to let her know you are interested but not enough for her to know you like her. This will keep her guessing and wanting more and more attention from you. If you do it right she will start talking to you constantly and you just have to reel her in.

Ok i've exhausted my dating tips, decided to go snooping online and came up with this interesting write up ...enjoy!!!

  Beat A Guy At His Game
The title isnt supposed to be taken literally!
1 and foremost every girl should keep a mystery to herself... cuz lets face it guys get bored easily!
2 if you and a guy have just exchanged numbers dont call him or text him unless you're really interested. If he hasnt called or texted you in a week then don't bother, not your loss.
3 If he has called or texted within the next couple of days and asks you out, make sure there is a 5-7 day window before you 2 go out. Ex: If he asks you to go out tomorrow say you're busy and give him a day about 5-7 days later. Make sure he thinks you HAVE a life :]
4 Never bring up your ex's guys HATE THAT! & if he brings up his ex's then politely change the subject, he'll probaby get the hint.
5 its always best for the girl to be a strong figure, so he'll know he cant walk all over you. So dont be too nice but make sure you're not a complete jerk to him. Say thank you when he compliments you, but don't think you need to return the favor of complimenting him back. For every 3 compliments he gives you, give him 1 back. it's all a game...
6 it's good to make a guy laugh, they love to be entertained just as much as we do. So if there's an awkward moment make a joke or say something sarcastic(not rude or mean)
7 Hold off on kissing him your first date. Save it until your 2nd or 3rd... Some ppl cant wait til the 3rd haha And if the kissing is good or bad, tease him... Kiss his neck, breathe softly into his ear... it'll drive him crazy!8 once you've started dating talk about both of your qworks or pet peeves it helps keep arguments at bay. And always do fun/new things with each other. It's best to not get romantic too fast it's better to be spontaneous for a while!
9 if he's busy find something to do, don't constantly call or text him. That makes you seem needy. And if you are the needy type FIGHT THE URGE, IT TOTALLY PAYS OFF! And dont always question guys they hate that as much as we do! Ex: He doesnt answer, he calls you back and your immediate reaction is "so what were you doin? you couldnt answer?!" makes things very hostile. 
10 Always impose honesty. Make sure you let him know he can tell you anything, even if he screws up. But ladies dont always forgive them if they screw up 2x it's time to leave. However, forgive but dont always forget! And if you have a cheating problem, try to avoid situations of temptation! Relationships are 2way streets, it's a compromise.
11 if you're not happy with the relationship, it's better to call it quits. If you're asking your girls about if you should stay with him, you should already know that you cant hold on to it anymore. 
12 if you're in a bad mood, give him a warning so if youre pms-ing and you snap he knows whats up! 
13 it's not only up to guys to show they care, us girls need to do the same. Bake him cookies, or buy him a cute shirt... It's never about how much something costs, it matters if it came from the heart! but DONT EVER spoil a guy, they take advantage just like some girls do! 

.............I really dont support some of the lines, but felt its good to get other views.

8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter: And other tips from a beleaguered father [not that any of them work]

Loss of Love and Intimacy in marraige

FOR LIST OF ALL BLOGS. VISIT - http://randommusers.blogspot.com/2010/08/blog-topics-and-new-blog-addresses.html

Lets take a break from the sexual talk and  talk more on intimacy, we would start the series on intimacy, love and marriage with this story...
I stumbled upon the.... story online and it really did touch me and i felt i had to share it, its quite long so free your mind get a tissue and read on.......

A TOUCHING STORY ON MARRIAGE....

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to
Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then
to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside  the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him,seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever?She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My  marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up and for those of us not married, we can learn the art of sticking together with your relationship partner despite the odds. You are both stronger than the odds only when you agree.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.  

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate 

BLOG TOPICS AND NEW BLOG ADDRESSES

We would be moving the business discussions to a new blog. This is been done to actually satisfy the 3 different segments:  
 - Relationship, Sex and Marriage     (http://randommuser.blogspot.com)
-  Online Market                              (http://naijasales.blogspot.com)
-  Business Resources                       (http://bizeminds.blogspot.com)

I apologise for the frequency of my postings, this is due to time constraints.

Most guest have been sending replies to my mail box, which i appreciate but its preferable if we drop the comments on the blog, this way other readers can benefit from our discussions.

We would be putting the blogs on other web platforms (e.g wordpress.com) for readers who prefer other web platforms than blogspot.

Thanks again for your comments and contributions.......please also put links to your blogs when you drop your comments!!

Don't forget....ignore the 'typos' if you can understand the line!!!

ORAL SEX AND RISK OF H.I.V.

Well im taking a little twist on this gist. Was discussing with a friend today and the issue of oral sex came up.....would give you the gist on how the topic came about later..... Well she asked if there was the risk of getting HIV from oral sex / blow job  or a fellatio. Well feeling like the all knowing sex doctor i said 'no'. but i got kind of intrigued and decided to read up on this.
I would have to explain a bit about oral sex ...'oral sex' beinga nicer way of saying a blow job / cuninglus / fellatio / giving head etc.....

What is Oral Sex?
Oral sex involves giving or receiving oral stimulation (i.e. sucking or licking) to the genitalia. Fellatio (also known as a 'blow job') is the term used to describe oral sex given to a man. Cunnilingus is the term which describes oral sex given to a woman.

Is oral sex common practice ?
 Many studies have shown that oral sex is practised by men and women of all ages, both gay and straight. It is a very common practice and may be performed on its own, or before or after sexual intercourse. Well in the western world its a common practice but one which is still hard to catch up on in naija...speaking from experience....

Is oral sex safe?
A number of studies have demonstrated that oral sex is not necessarily safe sex. Both giving and receiving oral sex can lead to the transmission of sexually transmitted infections or sexually transmitted diseases (also known as STIs or STDs). The risk of throat infections cant be over looked, i have had such a case before and it was a horrible experience, the fact remains that you have to know your partners personal hygiene.

Which STDs are transmitted via oral sex?
 The most common STD transmitted via oral sex is herpes. There are two main types of herpes simplex virus (HSV): HSV type 1 and HSV type 2. HSV type 1 usually causes cold sores around the mouth, while HSV type 2 generally causes genital herpes sores. However, oral sex can sometimes cause HSV type 1 around the mouth to be transmitted to the genital area causing genital sores in the other person. This process can also work in reverse, with HSV-2 transmitted from the genitals to the mouth of the other person during oral sex, though this is rare.
Tasting Him: Oral Sex Stories
The human papillomavirus that causes genital warts can very occasionally be transmitted through oral sex, causing warts to appear around or inside the mouth in anyone who has given oral sex to an infected person.

Gonorrhoea has been shown to infect the throat of some people who have given oral sex to an infected person. This infection can then be passed on from the throat to the genitals of any future partners. The body will almost always naturally clear the throat of the bacteria that cause gonorrhoea within three months, although infections in the genital tract will usually require antibiotics to cure. Chlamydia can also infect the throat in a similar way, although this is less common. Both infections may result in a sore throat, although many people will remain asymptomatic and unaware they are infected.

Syphilis may be passed on during oral sex if a person’s mouth comes into contact with an open sore or a skin rash caused by the infection.

Gastrointestinal infections and parasites may be passed on during oral contact with the anus.

The hepatitis A virus is also contained in human faeces, and may be passed on during anal-oral sex.

Hepatitis B is contained in sexual fluids and blood and may be transmitted during oral sex in a similar way to HIV (see below).

Hepatitis C is generally only contained in blood, and will only be transmitted if there is blood present during oral sex.

Can HIV be transmitted during oral sex?
HIV can pose a small risk for both the active (person giving the oral stimulation) and receptive (person receiving oral stimulation) partner.

Transmission from an HIV positive receptive partner to an HIV negative active partner may occur when the active partner gets sexual fluid (semen or vaginal fluid) or blood (from menstruation or a wound somewhere in the genital or anal region) into a cut, sore, ulcer or area of inflammation somewhere in their mouth or throat. The linings of the mouth and throat are very resistant to viral infections such as HIV, so infection is unlikely if they are healthy.

Transmission from an HIV positive active partner to an HIV negative receptive partner is generally believed to be less common. This is because HIV is normally only present in saliva in very low levels that are not sufficient to cause infection. The only risk in this scenario would be from bleeding wounds or gums in the HIV positive person’s mouth or on their lips, which may transfer blood onto the mucous membranes of the other person’s genitals or anus, or into any cuts or sores they may have. Hepatitis C can also be transmitted this way.

What is the risk of HIV transmission via oral sex?
The risk of HIV transmission from an infected partner through oral sex is much smaller than the risk of HIV transmission from anal or vaginal sex. Because of this, measuring the exact risk of HIV transmission as a result of oral sex is very difficult. In addition, since most sexually active individuals practice oral sex in addition to other forms of sex (such as vaginal and/or anal sex) when transmission occurs, it is difficult to determine whether or not it occurred as a result of oral sex or other more risky sexual activities. Finally, several co-factors can increase the risk of HIV transmission through oral sex, including oral ulcers and wounds, bleeding gums, genital sores, genital or oral piercings, and the presence of other STDs.


When scientists describe the risk of transmitting an infectious disease, like HIV, the term "theoretical risk" is often used. Very simply, "theoretical risk" means that passing an infection from one person to another is possible, even though there may not yet be any actual documented cases. "Theoretical risk" is not the same as likelihood. In other words, stating that HIV infection is "theoretically possible" does not necessarily mean it is likely to happen - only that it might. Documented risk, on the other hand, is used to describe transmission that has actually occurred, been investigated, and documented in the scientific literature.Various scientific studies have been performed around the world to try and document and study instances of HIV transmission through oral sex. A programme in San Francisco studied 198 people, nearly all gay or bisexual men. The subjects stated that they had only had oral sex for a year, from six months preceding the six-month study to its end. 20 per cent of the study participants (39 people) reported performing oral sex on partners they knew to be HIV positive. 35 of those did not use a condom and 16 reported swallowing semen. No one became HIV positive during the study, although the small number of participants performing oral sex on HIV positive partners meant the researchers could only say that there was a less than 2.8 per cent chance of infection through oral sex over a year.1 In 2000, a different San Francisco study of gay men who had recently acquired HIV infection found that 7.8 per cent of these infections were attributed to oral sex.2 However, the results of the study have since been called into question due to the reliability of the participants' data.
Measuring the exact risk of HIV transmission as a result of oral sex is very difficult.
In June 2002, a study conducted amongst 135 HIV negative Spanish heterosexuals, who were in a sexual relationship with a person who was HIV positive, reported that over 19,000 instances of unprotected oral sex had not led to any cases of HIV transmission.3 The study also looked at contributing factors that could affect the potential transmission of HIV through oral sex. They monitored viral load and asked questions such as whether ejaculation in the mouth occurred and how good oral health was. Amongst HIV positive men, 34 per cent had ejaculated into the mouths of their partners. Viral load levels were available for 60 people in the study, 10 per cent of whom had levels over 10,000 copies. Nearly 16 per cent of the HIV positive people had CD4 counts below 200. The study, conducted over a ten year period between 1990 and 2000, adds to the growing number of studies which suggest varying levels of risk of HIV transmission from oral sex when compared to anal or vaginal intercourse.

At the 4th International Oral AIDS Conference held in South Africa, the risk of transmission through oral sex was estimated to be approximately 0.04 per cent per contact.4 This percentage figure is a lot lower than the two American figures, because this figure is a risk per contact percentage, whereas the other figures are percentage risks over much longer time periods. Oral sex is still regarded as a low-risk sexual activity in terms of HIV transmission, but only when more work is done will we be clearer as to the risks of oral sex.
Are there any individual documented cases of HIV transmission during oral sex?
While it is very difficult to ever know how HIV transmission occurred, according to a factsheet on oral sex produced by the CDC in 20005, there have been a few documented cases of transmission during oral sex. These have occurred in both receptive and active partners during fellatio, cunnilingus and anilingus.

How do I protect myself and my partner during oral sex?
The already low risk of becoming infected with HIV from oral sex can be reduced still further by using condoms. Flavoured condoms are available for those who don’t like the taste of latex or spermicide. For cunnilingus or anilingus, plastic food wrap, a condom cut open, or a dental dam (a thin square of latex) can serve as a physical barrier to prevent transmission of HIV and many other STDs.

Well thats the much i got online about oral sex,but me thinks bottom line is a oral sex should be initiated if both parties can vouch for each others hygiene levels. Guys are more at risk considering the susceptibility levels of ladies to infections especially toilet infections and the normal flora (bacterias) which habitate in their privies. A good wash can be encouraged before oral sex, considering its a wonderful form of sexual experience we cant do away with it....

excerpts gotten from:  http://www.avert.org 

WAYS OF ACHIEVING SEXUAL SATISFACTION

 Enjoying Sexual Intercourse...............

If sexual intercourse is to be an experience of one to be enjoyed and pleasing, then perhaps a few things may need changing, that is, if you're not happy with coupling at the moment. Having sex is about loving and satisfying both genders. One reason that comes to light in relation to bedroom antics not being as one would expect - has a lot to do with comfort. If an uncomfortable position is retained at the time of intimacy, then I am afraid what should appear like a loving act will look more like Sumo wrestling grips.Choice of sexual positioning is the key to having good sex. Choosing the wrong position can have both parties become frustrated or feel pain. Choosing to have sexual intercourse with the wrong person can also affect the getting together. We would start with the basic sexual position
 The Position Sex Bible: More Positions Than You Could Possibly Imagine Trying

Missionary Position
One sexual layout and most common is the missionary position because of simplicity. To get into the position, the receiver simply lies down on their back while their partner lies face-down on top of them and everything is pretty straightforward from there on. Take things slow if this is your first time, there is plenty of time to step up in pace. Penis guidance into the vagina is recommended.
For me this is always the start up point for a romp -if it isnt a quickie-, it sets the pace for all other positions .

If you are looking for ways to spice things up then you are no doubt already sexually active. Nonetheless experience does not protect you against pregnancy or STDs. Some sexual positions may require the body of a contortionist so you must be very careful. Would you believe more accidents happen in the bedroom than you could imagine. If sex toys are used, once again be careful and keep them clean. Unhygienic gadgets can lead to infection

Spicy Sexual Positions: 365 Sex Positions: A New Way Every Day for a Steamy, Erotic Year

The Amazon 
This is not the easiest position, but it does give the receiver a sense of control and power that is absent in most positions. The receiver squats over their partner while resting on the back of their legs, which are brought towards their chest to expose them at a unique angle. Once this position is managed and the receiver is balanced comfortably, and if reachable they can manually stimulate their partner.

The Armchair
 This is a creative position where the giver sits up with his legs straight while the partner sits on top with legs on the giver's shoulders and arms being used for support. Muscling in at this stage is all well and good, however it takes some strength on the receiver`s behalf to perform this position, Oral Sex She'll Never Forget: 50 Positions and Techniques That Will Make Her Orgasm Like She Never Has Before

The Doggy Style position
This has the receiver settle down low on all fours with their partner holding on to their buttocks. Because of the low position the receiver's rear is pushed right back, while the giver's knees are placed to either side of the bottom. If you suffer from aching joints then this position may not be ideal because the low position requires a degree of flexibility. It should be noted here that this position allows the giver stimulate the clitoris

The Bodyguard

 This is similar to spooning with all the intensity of 'Doggy Style', the connectivity of a side-by-side position. The receiver stands in front and is penetrated from behind. This position permits the other person to explore other body parts with their hands at the same time. Positioning of this position can be difficult when trying to align the genitals. Nonetheless, and easily remedied by you standing on a foot stool or cushioning. Extra care should be taken with this sex act.Sex Deck: Playful Positions to Spice Up Your Love Life

The Cradle 
This is akin to the Bridge. The receiver's feet is planted and arms behind/below them to hold their upper body off the bed or whatever, while their partner enters from a kneeling position.

The Folded Deck Chair 
This has the receiver lie on their back, pivots the hips and legs are resting on the giver's shoulders, while the donor enters from a kneeling position while supporting some of their weight on the receiver's legs. When the giver leans on the receiver legs, it improves the angle of penetration to better target the g-spot or prostate gland. Sudden jerks are not healthy and can be lethal when trying out different sexual positions. It is a good idea to have a sex manual handy so you can return to instructions when needed.

Okay it sounds silly, but if it prevents pain and assures explosive orgasms it is worthwhile.

Spooning
This is a sexual position not far behind in popularity like the missionary position. It requires the giver and receiver lay on their sides head to toe (with the receiver facing away) while their partner enters from behind. This position will put the penis at an odd angle (pointing down) be extra careful not to strain the penis. If you feel a penis pain you should see your GP. The ability to treat this sort of pain depends on the underlying cause. Ice packs may help ease the pain.

If penis pain is caused by a sexually transmitted disease you need to have it treated right away. An untreated STD can severely turn nasty.

Peyronie's disease is a condition affecting the penis that can cause a lump within the shaft of the penis also pain. Another sign is a bent penis. This is normally detected as a tender lump in the penis, which might later be followed by bending of the penis when erect, sometimes at unusual angles. The flaccid penis is not usually deformed. More information on penis problems found at www.viagrahouse.com.

The Wheelbarrow.
 This position is fun. To get into the position, the receiver should get on all fours and have their partner pick them up by the waist and take it from there. The fun part is trying to lift your partner's legs if they be the size of an elephant - laughs-.

Bedroom games have to be carefully planned because some whites love to be tied up or handcuffed to the bed, however if the handcuff keys go missing then game over, so i think its safer you stick to the simple african sex.
 Oral Sex He'll Never Forget: 52 Positions and Techniques Guaranteed to Blow Your Man Away
Extras from: Kacy Carr 

HOW TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP LAST AND LAST...PART 2

 Ok...... lets wrap the gist on 'HOW TO MAKE LOVE LAST...'

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex, Third Edition
 

..........Continued

15. Be the man. Not literally, but if your guy always initiates dates, romance, whatever, take the lead for once.

16. Disappear together. Hike somewhere MTN can't find you (and thus your mother, your boss and his needy friends can't find you either). Obviously no woods in Nigeria!!  Any time spent totally alone together — a long drive, even — will do the trick.

 Little Deeper Sex Furniture / Sex Toy / Sex Wedge / Sex Pillow
 

17. Disappear alone. We're not advocating game-playing, exactly. But in this world of 24/7 availability, it can be good for your relationship to each have some solo time. Afterward, you'll feel recharged, like the free-spirited single girl he fell for once upon a time.

18. Go to a party! And mingle separately. It screams confidence and makes the after-party rehash even sweeter. But you have to know his feelings, most Nigerian men are not open to such.

19. Have sex some way you've never had it before. A worthy challenge, whether you've been together 10 days or 10 years. Try a new position or play out a fantasy. Doesn't matter whether it's really new to you, as long as it's new to you as a couple.

... Once a Year

20. Now get the dog. Or at least a plant. Anything that'll grow with your love.

21. Say the tough thing. The dark family secret. The crazy career dream. If you can't confess to your significant other, then who? (Hey, you think Jonathan never said to Patience way back when, "This may sound crazy, but I think I want to be president someday"?)

How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

22. Cancel Valentine's Day and invent your own lovey-dovey holiday.

23. Fall apart. You can't schedule this. But it's important that you each know, via experience, that you can  completely, utterly lose your grip — weep over a bad haircut, threaten to leave your job after a crazy day, have a wrenching fight with your mom — and not lose each other.

24. Don't Get Up. At least once a year, break open some champagne or fancy chocolate, disable the Wi-Fi, and don't get out of bed for the weekend.

25. Talk marriage, birth control. Not so sexy, but potentially life-changing. Would a different method work better? Is it his turn (or yours) to take primary responsibility? And where are you on the whole kid issue, anyway?

Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships: Healing the Wound of the Heart

26. Re-kiss your first kiss. All timid and hopeful ... and wonderful.

27. Write each other. "One letter may not seem like much, but after 30 years it's a wonderful record of your lives."

28. Think back on all the reasons you fell for him, whether you've dated for a year or a decade. Some will be big (his extra-dry sense of humor); some will be small (his love of plantain). Make sure you tell him, and remind yourself. Hello, butterflies! There you are again.

... And Once In a Lifetime

29. Get lost together in a different town, state even country.

30. Damn the cost and go do the dream…..argghh paris here you come!!!.

 The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex, Third Edition
 

31. Get intimate someplace you might be discovered.

32. Suffer through food poisoning together.

33. Go to each other's old boys/girls reunions.

34. Pay off the Landlord early

35. Come back from the brink of a breakup even stronger.

36. Together, convince a skeptic friend to believe in love.

37. Have a poor phase. Maybe a rich phase, too.

38. Count the stars. Know your love is one in a billion.

Well i guess we have come to the end on this part oh how to make love last and last and last....to get the best of these you have to apply everything to at least 75%.

We would be talking more about sexual satisfaction and its role in the relationship!!! 

30 WAYS TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP LAST AND LAST AND LAST........

Ok we are down to our 30 things to make a relationship last......materials used were gotten from glamour magazine.......
.......Now that you've fallen in love with someone wonderful, are you wondering how to keep that love alive? Here's what you should be doing as a couple:

...Once a week

1. Fight (a little). Getting your ‘grrs’ out keeps small annoyances from snowballing.  If you leave issues to fester they would definitely build into big fights. Britain's longest-married couple proves it: Together 81 years, Frank and Anita Milford say their secret is "a little argument every day."

2. Walk hand in hand. Even just to your car after anyone of you visits or just a stroll, preferably in the evenings for you shy ones, considering the ‘naija’ mentality towards publicly expressed love.

3. Compliment each other. This one's a daily to-do, if you can. There's no nice thing that's too small to mention: his excellent taste in music, the way he always opens the door for you, her meal or snack prepared etc — it's all worth a verbal love tap. And he will swoon.

4. Make love (obviously). But also ...

5. Have generous sex. You need at least one sexual connection a week that's all about pleasing the other person. (Dear busy people: Feel free to multitask and make this the sex from before.  And for the live-in couples same goes for this next two ...)

6. Sleep together before work. Put down the straightening iron and heat things up this way: "Weekday morning sex is the secret sauce in a relationship.

7. Get into bed and ... sleep. "Sometimes the best thing a couple can do to ignite their passion for each other is sleep," says Hillsborough, New Jersey, sleep expert Carol Ash. If you two aren't in the sleepover stage yet, co-napping has been known to work wonders too.

8. Let something go. Argue over the stuff that matters, but once a week let her (and yourself) off the hook for things that don't: Yes, he chews his popcorn loud. No, it won't kill you.

9. Laugh really hard. Laughter is a relationship's Krazy Glue: It bonds you. Uninspired? Fast-forward to the chest-waxing scene in The 40-Year-Old Virgin, or send him something snort worthy from funnyordie.com.

... Once a Month

10. Be do-gooders. Volunteering together (visiting an orphanage or even just helping a friend move) bonds you because you're ID-ing "common values.

11. Do something scary. Been together a while? A pounding heart mimics the rush of brand-new love, says Patti Wood, an expert on nonverbal communication in Atlanta.

12. Talk about money. Whether it's, "Hey, let's split the bill tonight" or just,  "Should we open a joint account?"

13. Brag publicly about him: his fearless pursuit of the ‘rat’ in your kitchen, the snack he surprised you with at work, the raise he landed even in this economy. Surely once a month you can think of something that'll make him blush in front of your friends. He'll probably get you back too.

14. Declare something "this stays in Vegas." A silly nickname, or a crazy bedroom mishap. Share something intimate, then pull the couple bubble around you tightly.

.....lets continue this on the next post 

HOW TO MAKE LOVE PART 2

 I would have to deviate a bit from the topic of sex and lay a foundation about having a healthy relationship and foundation for a relationship. Obviously sex is an integral part, but it is normally misused so we would touch other aspects before we delve into sex.

Contrary to popular belief and breakup/ divorce statistics, love can last for a long time! A recent psychological research study revealed that there is such as thing as “happily ever after.” Heres a brief summary of those research findings, plus four ways to make love last for the long-term.

Science Shows That Romance Can Last in Long-Term Relationships/ Marriages

"Many people believe that romantic love is the same as passionate love," said psychology researcher Bianca P. Acevedo, PhD. "It isn't. Romantic love has the intensity, engagement and sexual chemistry that passionate love has, minus the obsessive component. Passionate or obsessive love includes feelings of uncertainty and anxiety. This kind of love helps drive the shorter relationships but not the longer ones."

Acevedo and her peers looked at 17 short-term relationship studies, which included 18- to 23-year-old college students who were single, dating or married, with the average relationship lasting less than four years. They also looked at 10 long-term relationship studies comprising middle-aged couples who were typically married 10 years or more.

They found that long-term love can progress into a healthy, companionship/friendship type of love, which will last for the long term. This type of romantic love in relationshipcan extend for a lifetime of "happily ever after"!

How do couples make love last? Here are four tips for the long haul.

1.       1.       Be “There” for Your Partner

This research shows that couples who feel supported in their relationship are happier. On the other hand, "feelings of insecurity are generally associated with lower satisfaction, and in some cases may spark conflict in the relationship,” says Acevedo. “This can manifest into obsessive love." To build a successful relationship, both spouses need to be there for each other.

2.      2.            Remember the Stages of Love

Long-term romantic relationships go through distinct stages of love – and the passionate love at the beginning can’t be sustained throughout the whole relationship leading to marriage!

If partners are aware of the “highs and lows” in love, the happier they’ll be for the long-term (because they won’t have unrealistic expectations for romance or passion).

3.        3.     Let Go of the Little Things in a Relationship

The trivialities of daily life can undermine a loving relationship. Instead of getting caught up in details that are likely petty and unimportant, focus on the big picture.

For instance, be grateful that the when you come visit one another the home is clean (instead of fretting that it wasn’t cleaned in a particular).

4.       4.       Maintain a Strong Friendship

To build romantic love, take time and energy to be friends with each other. Learn new things together, such as how to mix drinks, bake, and prepare a particular meal or how to play a new game. Take an adventure vacation together. Read books together, about companion love and building a happy relationship. Make it a habit to please and give your partner what he or she needs as much as possible.

Source of the Research Findings:

Review of General Psychology, published by the American Psychological Association

I would be writing on 39 ways to make a your love last on the next posting...so keep subscribe to the RSS feed to get regular updates. 

HOW TO MAKE LOVE....

The topic sounds corny....right? Well i was switched to counselor mode over this weekend, a friend had an issue which i tried talking her through....smallie thanks for your permission to use this!!!.  Well back to the topic, she complained about having never had an orgasm through any form of sexual intercourse except while masturbating, and her present boyfriend is the  first guy she is having any form of sexual intercourse with...never knew we still had 25yr old virgins... , they have been dating for 2 years and she loves him, but scared that the lovemaking might be an issue.

So this is where my lecture begins. i cant say I'm versed in the art of love making or know the clicks to it, but i believe with a little bit of experience garnered over my 'sexual lifetime' and from materials.  I can and was able to clear some things for her which is basically that sex is about 2 'mature' individuals who have to give and receive and, be able to express themselves if they believe they are not receiving as much as they expect. Or in some cases not being able to bring up suggestions or introduce something different in bed. I would be discussing this issue in parts over the week.

The art of sex ...I'm assuming its between 2 consenting individuals of opposite sex, any other illustration would be stated...... or rather lets call it lovemaking, is the most magnificent celestial experience. While making love, we forget about our past and feel absolutely no worries of our future; everything freezes to time and we live in the very moment. But unfortunately for some people; love making do not last longer and they are not able to enjoy every bit of it.

Normally people can stretch love making to an hour long activity, but making love for whole night is always possible.  All you need is some simple techniques which are to be followed by both the partners. If you follow step by step procedure and understand what is needed to be done at particular time, you can make your nights enjoyable and memorable too. Making love is not just about genital penetration, it is very important to understand that 100% participation and complete devotion of the partners, better mutual understanding, desire for passionate love making and readiness to take initiative in the game of love are the prerequisites. There are situations when one partner has to lead and let the other partner keep his/her desires burning, failing to understand this will cost in early ending of your passion packed activity. Also please take care not to eat more at dinner, because it affects your active participation in love making.

 A BRIEF VIDEO ON SEVERAL WAYS OF MAKING LOVE WITHOUT PENETRATION!!

In subsequent blogs I would be discussing :
-  Relationship and sex
-  Foreplay
- Talking dirty/ naughty  (healthy)
- The sexual anatomy of both sexes
- 20 different sexual positions

Also "39 ways to make your love last and last"a material culled from Kimberly & Pamela's blog.

Please readers discretion is advised as some certain terms might be used in the course of this topic.

Well catch you on the rebound and watch out for gist about my 'madam', love her so much and also appreciate her support when i told her i was going to write about this........BABE I LOVE YOU......but you already know abi!!!

WITH THE RAINS COME THE PAINS!!!

Woke up to the patter of the rain outside, the cold made me want to snooze back again and suddenly the remembrance of the roads would be like if i dont get out of the house early made me jump up.....while the body was booting and me saying my sleep dazed morning prayers...i remembered the road leading our of street and i just wanted to jump back into bed.

 

 Let me give you a gist on how the road became a nightmare.... about 2 months it was just some little patches on the road and the over zealous Local government chairman sent his boys to excavate the surface for repairs.....wow we all sang his praises.... after the tractors had left the site, we waited with our breaths held......well that was 2months ago, and right now the road has 2 nasty craters and is a nightmare, every hour a car gets stuck, even saw a jeep stuck there this morning...well we had to convert the walkway/culvert to a road , but the shop owners put up road blocks to stop passage. Most times to avoid the major crater i have to circumvent using a road which is twice the journey or i park my car 2 'closes' away from home, along the main road and walk home.......

......and now i ask what was the idea of the project to torment us or at the inception of the idea , there was a political score being looked for......
The only good thing about the road, is that it prepares you for other nightmares along the way, dont think i passed any as worse as mine, even oshodi express isnt that bad.

Driving to work through the rain induced traffic was hectic, felt smart and passed through 'ijesha' only to get into a worse bottleneck...you know traffics on 'expressways' make more sense than traffic jams on 'streets'.... Well the only joy of the rains meant i would not be seeing any 'VIO ' ..check last blog for my issues with them...

Giving credit to the BRF administration which has tried in its on little way on rehabilitation of roads and freeing up traffic on major roads, but they have a long way to go.
If we the populace can play our own part by paying our TAX..snickers..and also stop indiscriminate dumping of refuse into gutters. YES we all are guilty in our own little way, that lacasera bottle and gala nylon you threw out of the car yesterday is going to get blown into one of them gutters and cause a blockage, which would definitely lead to overflows onto the roads and create potholes.



WE ALL HAVE OUR PART TO PLAY IN TAKING CARE OF OUR ROADS AND ENVIRONMENT, ITS NOT ONLY ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT!!!

THE NEW FEAR IN LAGOS....

Ok its not another 'private part' disappearance or 'gbomo gbomo (kidnapping of the 80's) scary tale. Its the fear being a tax defaulter in lagos. Most times i envy 'office' workers who dont get to be on the road during work hours as 'we' have to. My topic refers to the new way of getting tax defaulters by the Lagos state government.



I've heard stories about regular stops by Lagos state officials who after asking for your relevant papers now ask for your tax receipt, took it all with a pinch of salt till last week. Was driving to the surulere office, sighted some VIO officials ahead of me ....feeling smug with myself.... i drove on, expecting to breeze past or worst case if im stopped, scream at them that... cant they see its a 2007 model so exempted from 'road worthiness' checks. well i did get stopped start my rant and the guy let me vent out and tells me he has the right to check all my papers...that was new one...and 3 of his other huge looking colleagues had surrounded my car.... well i ate my humble pie and gave him my papers of which he says they were good, but he would like to see the original of my drivers license...this would be gist for another day... well i didnt have it,which he says the copy i had looked fake and they needed the original to verify...had a flashback to a friend who got stopped for a fake drivers license story, and spent a day their office parted with N5,000 as a fine  and had to pay a tax fine of N11,000.... well he said i needed to go bring my originals while they impound my car and cos he likes me he would advise me to come with my tax receipt...and i ask why..he points to another dude whom he says is waiting to ask for that and if i didnt have it thats another offence.... seems the dude didnt know he was talking to an ibo dude....

B.R.F.   EKO ONI BAJE!!!

well i lambasted them for stopping me, made a call to a friend at the governors office who told me he couldnt do anything that the government even stops officials like him...ok i broke a sweat or two... well i switched to the line that my dad is a major general, and i would leave this car with them and get them locked up if i have to come back for it, well they looked more pissed, luckily saw a soldier walking along the way and hailed the dude over....with authority..lol..liver full.... the guy walks up and i ask him if he knows my dad....luckily it was a dumb soldier.. he stammers yes and i told him to warn these nitwits, well as he walks over to them and i feign going to get my other phone in the car...the guy blocking me had walked around to confront the soldier.....boy did i jump in and burn rubber... surprised i didnt wear of the tyres.
Well after that day i started asking around and heard stories about people being stopped to demand their tax papers most times some Lagos officials in company of policemen go around shops to demand same even from artisans.
Well my coy has got a Tax clearance, getting mine now becomes an issue, went to the local govt and all the nitwits i asked didnt know what i was talking about , finally got referred to ikeja, but how do i get there without getting stopped , cos now i rarely drive during the day. i need to get my tax paid...AND SO DO YOU. But the govt can make it easier by proper adverts on locations and modes of payments.
ALSO CONFIRM IF YOU DRIVERS LICENSE IS ACTUALLY ORIGINAL.

well im sending someone over to alausa, a friend says he can help there!!!
WANT TO BUY OR SELL IN NIGERIA?

CORRUPTION AN THE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

Guess most of us haven't experienced this, cos you just walk through the arrival with just a hiss cos of the heat you walked into. Well for 'we' who have to carry other transactions here its a hell!!!. Most imports come in through the airport via 'cargo' or passenger 'luggage' . my vex is always with the passenger 'luggage' section where the custom hold sway.
Was there on saturday to pick a consignment of antennas and radios brought in from dubai using a friend as his extra luggage. well getting in  through terminal E was an experience, with security men who were trying to get money out of believing i was ignorant of the process...obviously they lost out.... got in and met the custom officers who tried to jump over themselves to take my paper, believing i was a mugu. well the custom guy looks at my paper and say i would have to pay a 20% duty on the worth of the goods and 5% tax, 10% processing, bank commission and some other jargons..and i tell the guy that this are just computer accessories and not television antennas or radar antennas...cos he brought out a log book to show me the charges for antennas..... notwithstanding my explanation he seemed hell bent on collecting the charges, well i got pissed and told them not to worry that i would send "some else' to pick it ...i emphasized someone to make it look like a superior officer....
well i turned round to walk out and the dude now says " why am i walking out that i should come lets talk".. and he say how much do i have on me, i said im budgeting 19k, and the nitwit now those some calculations and says i should pay a 5% duty instead...which i already knew was the rate... well it amounted to 17k and he puts the extra 2k into his pocket and became quite efficient in helping me get out my goods...  and ignored the fact that i had no letter of authority from the person whose name is on the luggage tag, and neither did i have any form of identification..i mean anyone could have walked into claim my goods
then the lady who was to confirm my bank payments was playing the time wasting game, realizing she was yoruba i switched to the yoruba lingua and she smiles and says"why didnt i talk since" well she gets it stamped and i tell her "e mela" and she says "what?"... i tell her im ibo...lol...you should have seen the change in her countenance...
Then to the guy who was to bring out the goods from the store, bad enough that i had to drag him out from watching a match and i didnt know the description of the luggage ...which is actually his duty to look at the slip i have and search for the luggage.... well we find the luggage and he now gives me a brown toothed smile and asked if anything for him. well i settled him.
while rolling my luggage out the custom ladies at the counter also give me a shout out asking "if im through and if anything for them" ..i definitely snubbed them.
 At the exit of the terminal 2 nitwits accost me and say i have to pay 1k for FAAN duty, and i ask what is the duty for again? well no one gives me an explanation but hold on to my trolley and say i cant go out, well i created a scene and they called a security man,who i threatened by asking if he was the superior officer here..well that putt him off being arrogant to me...bottom line i did pay .
while waiting for the driver to bring the car around, 2 police officer walk up to me and say "oga nah your luggage " i said yes and they now ask me if i have anything for them. well i bluntly told them 'NO'. the 2 husslers beside who were waiting to load my luggage into the car simply slunk away...you could almost see flames coming out of my eyes....lol
when i did get to the office to drop off the package, i just felt like lying down to weep for a nation. i mean how can one do business with all the stress we have to go through.
maybe i would give you the low down on the cargo section or worst of them all going to the NAHCO yard to pick up consignments...its hell!!!
i just had to lament...